eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
