I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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