If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Ketchup is God's man juice
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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