exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
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