I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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