I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
