return my video game
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Are we still banned from the library?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
