we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
