So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
