oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize