I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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