If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
