If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
