Texts From Last Night

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  (352): View more from Florida

  So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field

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  (352): So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field http://tfl.nu/5are
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.

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  (815): Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet. http://tfl.nu/agm0
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich

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  (773): Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich http://tfl.nu/iski
  Replies (32) Good night (697) Bad night (1994) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup

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  (860): So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup http://tfl.nu/fyxp
  Replies (18) Good night (1020) Bad night (3883) Order T-Shirt
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.

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  (352): Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want. http://tfl.nu/d61s
  Replies (36) Good night (4504) Bad night (663) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".

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  (734): we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS". http://tfl.nu/4yux
  Replies (23) Good night (559) Bad night (5681) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.

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  (818): I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol. http://tfl.nu/1x7g
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  (626): View more from California

  They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes

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  (626): They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes http://tfl.nu/n6ba
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  (555): View more from

  She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.

  (555): View more from

  Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.

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  (555): She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome. (555): Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there. http://tfl.nu/h5mq
  Replies (13) Good night (3306) Bad night (809)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.

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  (913): Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck. http://tfl.nu/4gbf
  Replies (17) Good night (1042) Bad night (3328) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level

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  (516): I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level http://tfl.nu/2gco
  Replies (3) Good night (1925) Bad night (891) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own

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  (512): Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own http://tfl.nu/8nr0
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  (516): View more from New York

  Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.

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  (516): Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase. http://tfl.nu/afiw
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.

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  (573): He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer. http://tfl.nu/1tmt
  Replies (2) Good night (684) Bad night (676) Order T-Shirt
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.

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  (321): I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this. http://tfl.nu/3qlv
  Replies (11) Good night (1687) Bad night (341)

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