I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
R you on birth control?
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.