The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
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When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
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American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack