can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades