you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
