please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
