new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Randomize
