that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
