omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
