Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She even gives head with a lisp.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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