Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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