EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize