yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
