that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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