No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
