dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I think i got beer on your cat.
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