it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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