Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
