DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
