They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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