Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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