Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
