if i can run in heels then i can drive
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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