do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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