love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
