I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
