She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
