hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
