my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i think i have herpe
just one?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
