and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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