No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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