Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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