CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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