oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
