Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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