I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
