end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The power of my boobs compel you
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
