when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I am never drinking with the goths again.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
