It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My legs feel like baby dolphins
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
