member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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