Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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