with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
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At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
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Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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