I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
