I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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