What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
